The C programmer can walk on water.
He programs on a P90 with 8 Meg RAM w/ Mach32. He can program a graphical spreadsheet in about 2 days.
The C programmer tends to put "()" after every major verb when they talk or write: "are you going() to see() NIN tomorrow? I'll try() to get() tickets!"
He is an olympic class swimmer.
He programs on a 486dx/2 66 with 8 Meg RAM w/ SVGA and can program a good text based spreadsheet in a little over a week.
He can swim pretty well.
He programs on a 486dx 33 with 4Meg RAM and can program a complicated scientific calculator in a week and a half.
The TP Programmer tends to put "begin" and "end" before every major topic: "begin That new game is awesome, man! end"
He manages to keep himself afloat in shallow water.
He programs on a DEC VAX with a VT100 (he's too manly for a GUI). A Fortran programmer can do a passable calculation device in a few weeks.
Nobody really knows how Fortran programmers talk because there are so few of them these days.
He has trouble avoiding drowning in his own bathtub.
QBASIC programmer works on a 486sx 25 with 4 Meg RAM. He can write a program that accepts two numbers and adds them together in just under 4 weeks.
He wets himself with a squirt gun.
He programms on an Apple IIc, and can do a program that puts a box on the screen that some may argue looks like a calculator in about 8 weeks (with help from his teacher).
The LOGO programmer can't actually talk very well, but instead draws a whole lot of pictures, crayon being their favorite media.
He parts the water when he wishes to cross it.
He programs on what ever he damm well pleases and can do a multi-tasking, multi-user networkable operating system that includes a GUI spreadsheet during his coffee break.
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